Relationship Issues & Low Self-Esteem Counselling & Psychotherapy In London

ABOUT ME!

My role is to help you to explore and understand your relationships better. I will help you to explore your feelings, beliefs and behaviours within the relationship, to gain a better understanding of your situation and the choices you have. This can help you to develop a deeper understanding of your relationship and make decisions that are right for you. I can help you work through past and current relationships in order to better understand how they affect you. Together, we can develop goals for forming healthier relationships in the future. The way individuals interact with one another can significantly impact on an individual’s mental health.

Please select a date and time that best suits you. This is the time for you and I to get to know each other. Please feel free to ask me any questions you might have and I will explain the way I work. This way, we wouldn't have to go back and forth via emails to arrange time and dates.

This service is for UK residents only. This is an online session via Google Meet to discuss what you would like to achieve from therapy. I will send you my bank details once you have made a booking.

CANCELLATION POLICY

My cancellation policy is 24hrs before the appointment, otherwise I will require a full payment. Discretion is used in emergency situations, please email me for rearrangements.

I provide one to one Therapy for adults aged 18+ anywhere in the UK struggling with: Family/non-family conflict & relationship issues to support individuals to explore and address relationship conflict, to find new ways to connect and learn how to improve relationships and work on better communication & Low Self-Esteem to support individuals examine the root causes, how to address feelings of low self-worth and learn how to improve their self-image and reduce self-doubt.  Click here to find out more about other issues I can support you with.

Individual relationship counselling can help to prevent relationship issues from growing. It can help you to recognize and develop your strengths and weaknesses, explore how you relate to others in your life, gain self-awareness and improve your communication skills.

My counselling services are for any individual adults who might be facing relationship difficulties or wants to strengthen relationships they already have, maintain or grow their relationship with family, friends, or anyone in a romantic relationship or wants to understand themselves better. 

Low self-esteem refers to  how much value you place on yourself. Self-esteem may have either a positive or a negative view of ourselves. Your self-esteem develops and changes as a result of your life experiences and interactions with other people. It can harm & prevent people from finding fulfilling relationships, kill their confidence or following their dreams. People with low self-esteem may put up walls to protect themselves from negative judgments or criticism. While these protective walls may provide temporary relief, they can also hinder your personal growth, healthy relationships, and your overall well-being.

HOW LOW SELF ESTEEM CAN IMPACT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Are you tired of fighting yourself? Do you sabotage your relationships due to low self-esteem? When we operate out of self-awareness, it can make it easy to project our own insecurities onto others. You will find that most of the relationship issues are caused by poor communication. When you don’t communicate your needs, you might end up getting upset that they are not met.

Do you find yourself avoiding open communication to prevent rejection or conflict due to negative experiences? Remember that no one can mind read, if you don’t communicate how you feel, the other person might think that you are ok, and everything is fine. Having a healthy communication can provide emotional support to you and the other person, you can establish and maintain personal boundaries or learn how to cope with unhealthy behaviours within the relationship.

Having a negative view of self can bring in unhealthy coping mechanisms and it can make it difficult to navigate a healthy relationship. Are you constantly thinking about what others think of you, do you compare yourself negatively to others. This way of being can cause you to fall into self-pity and self-centredness, you may shut down and withdraw, which can make the significant other feel rejected by you or it may cause you to isolate. You might feel that you don’t have much to offer, spending time with others feels like a waste of your and their time or simply that you will have no influence on anything. Then you start avoiding social events because you feel anxious (social anxiety) or that you struggle with conversations with fear of judgement, you might feel ashamed to share anything about yourself in case it is perceived negatively, you feel that others might enjoy spending time or talking to someone else instead of you. You stop doing activities that once brought you joy, which can lead into depression.

Self-development counselling can help individuals to understand themselves, identify their strengths and limitations to overcome barriers to achieve their potential. You can choose the areas of your life you want to focus on, or you may choose these areas because you are not satisfied. 

What Happens In the 1st Therapy Session
  • During our first session, we will explore why you are looking for therapy; what you want to achieve from the therapy, and agree on how we will work together.
  • The 1st session is considered an initial assessment. This will be the time for you and I to get to know each other.
  • Counselling sessions usually include exploring what you are hoping to achieve by the time you finish our sessions, and exploring a plan we can work towards for you to achieve your desired outcome.
  • Therapy is a very personal process and sometimes it is necessary to talk about painful feelings or difficult decisions, so you may go through a period of feeling worse than when you started before feeling better, but, that will also depend on your situation and circumstances.

BACP has produced some helpful information sheets which give a fuller explanation of what might be expected during therapy and these may be
found on the website at: bacp-what-happens-in-your-first-session-kf3.pdf

How We Will Work Together

We will work together by engaging in the here-and-now therapeutic relationship between us as an opportunity to understand how you relate to yourself and others in your life, and we can explore how your past might be affecting your present life. I will never push you to talk about anything you are not ready to explore, there will be times when I will challenge you gently to explore how your thoughts affect your emotions and experiences. It’s important for both of us that I understand your full experience and what is important to you to help accomplish the changes you want to make. Some of the areas we discuss will have to do with your identity and cultural influences in your life. 

How To Get The Most Out Of Your Counselling Sessions

You’ll get the best results from your therapy if you’re open and honest with me and say how you’re really feeling.

Your relationship with me is very important. If we’re to work effectively together, you should feel safe and able to take risks by disclosing and discussing sensitive issues. That includes being able to give me honest feedback on how you feel about your therapy and how we’re working together.

Frequently asked questions

I Am In A Relationship And I Am Not Happy

-Perhaps you feel that you cant connect with each other anymore

- Do you feel that you can't communicate your needs

-You might be feeling bored, lack of trust or that you are not yourself 

- Are you feeling anxious, stuck or fighting over reasons you don't understand

-Perhaps there was infedelity committed before and you suspect that it might be happening again

I Am Single, I Want To Be In A Relationship And Not Happy

-Are you recovering from a breakup and want to explore and process what has happened

-Are you anxious of rejection or falling into the same cycle of repeated unhelpful relationships and want to understand their origin

-Are you worried that you might end up in relationship you might end up regretting

I Am Having Family Issues

Family dynamics impact our development and how we see ourselves in later life, influence the relationships we form, how we interact with the world, and how we behave and interact with others. Given the dynamic quality of any family, each one will operate differently, contain its own culture, rules, beliefs, and values.. Below is a list of some common family issues.

  • a change to the familial structure due to death or illness
  • difficult behaviours with teenagers or older children
  • feeling of loss when children leave home
  • an unwanted pregnancy or abortion
  • discovery of an infidelity or affair
  • communication breakdowns
  • Rejection or abandonment from a cregiver

How Triggers Might Affect Your Relationships

A trigger is a reply of an early experience. The situation we are in, may be that another person has brought back the memory, but may not be responsible for the feeling. We re-live unressolved situations, but this usually goes outside of our unconscious awareness. The trigger is the experience instigated by someone else, however, our reaction is our responsibility which is based on our past experiences, and the trigger alerts us to say to us that, the issue is an unfinished business that needs to be addressed, processed and resolved. Recognising and thinking about what triggered you can help manage situations which have the potential to produce conflict. Triggers varies from person to person and they can be internal or external.

How Your Attachment Style Can Affect Your Relationships

 

Our early bonds shape how we connect. When these bonds are insecure, it can lead to attachment issues impacting relationships and self-esteem. Your attachment style informs the way you relate to other people, to yourself, to your work, and relationships. So many struggles’ people face lead back to their attachment style, which is formed in infancy. You may feel co-dependent, clingy, and needy with partners, friends, Or you may struggle to connect with others, find it easiest to withdraw into yourself, and avoid emotions. These patterns affect the way we relate in relationships during both easy and challenging moments. 

Attachment theory shows how, from a very young age, having a secure attachment is like having a safe platform from which we can venture out and explore the world. A secure attachment teaches us that we can trust and depend on others, while feeling secure within ourselves. It also creates a model of how we expect others to behave throughout our lives. in childhood when we were first developing our patterns of attachment, hurtful events we experienced may have led to insecure attachment patterns. In turn, we likely developed adaptations and defences within us that left us more guarded when it comes to getting close to someone else. Understanding our early attachment patterns and adaptations can have a huge impact on how we feel and behave in our relationships. Most of us have a “critical inner voice” that coaches us and lures us into self-limiting behaviours.  We come to any relationship armed with a tough inner critic and a complex attachment history, so there are bound to be ways we act in moments that we regret.

Everything from our early attachment patterns to the “critical inner voice” that formed out of experiences that hurt us in the past can start to inform how we perceive loved ones. We can start to accept other people as “good enough” rather than expecting a kind of perfection. When we’re close to someone, we sometimes forget that they are their own person with their own sovereign mind.  Our friend or partner may have a whole world of things going on inside them that we don’t fully understand, so we can try to have a little patience in allowing them to get through their struggles. By being less judgmental, we find new ways in ourselves to nurture a friendship and thrive in a relationship, both as an individual and as a pair.

 

How You View And Treat Yourself Will Affect How You Relate To Others.

Self-relationship is the connection you have with yourself. Your relationship with yourself involves self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-care. When you are in a healthy relationship with yourself, you embrace your strengths and opportunities. You value who you are and what you’ve experienced. How you view and treat yourself will affect how you relate to others. The kind of relationship you have with yourself has an influence on those around you. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you’re more likely to know how capable you are and understand how to care for yourself during tough times. You may develop a sense you can handle obstacles and challenges.

The relationship we have with our self-concept can prevent our ability to achieve our overall desired level of satisfaction and happiness in our lives. Your relationship with yourself is often overlooked, it impacts every part of you and how you see yourself, how you treat yourself, and how you feel about yourself. It also influences every aspect of your life, including how you interact with the world and how you see the world, and what you believe to be possible for you in your life.

Alone time spending time with yourself may help you create space for self-assessment and inner work. Loving yourself is essential to have a healthy relationship with yourself and others. You may want to start by engaging in self-care.