some ways to take responsibility for our happiness, while creating more happiness in our relationship.

Published on 19 June 2024 at 11:57

Happiness is something that people seek to find, yet what defines happiness can vary from one person to the next. Typically, happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfilment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction. 

Here are some ways to take responsibility for our happiness, while creating more happiness in our relationship.
  1. Say what you want directly. You cannot expect your partner to read your mind. Too often, we don’t express what we need or want directly, then we blame them for letting us down. Instead of saying what we want, we tell them all the things we don’t want or all the ways they’ve gotten it wrong. Being open and vulnerable rather than critical or complaining invites a completely different response from our partner.
  2. Avoid defining statements. Seeing our partners, friends or family members in black or white, seeing their shortcomings rather than seeing the big picture of what they offer us on a daily basis. We may be so distracted by the fact that they often forget to do something practical around the house that we don’t appreciate the warm way they greet us every morning, or the three things they did for us when we got home.
  3. Don’t punish. When we feel let down by others, we can be direct and honest with our feedback, but punishing is rarely helpful, especially when these responses are based on an expectation, we set of which someone wasn’t even aware. Instead, we can generate our own excitement and invite them to join. If they’re not in the mood, we may be disappointed, but we can still redirect our energy to do something we enjoy.
  4. Be independent. Just because we’re in a relationship doesn’t mean we have to share everything we do. It’s more than okay to have things we each like to do independently. Having shared interests and activities is wonderful, but there are probably a whole bunch of things that make us feel alive and ourselves that we should not give up just because we’re in a relationship. Don’t feel guilty for having outside passions. They refuel us in ways that bring more energy and vitality to the relationship.
  5. Treat others the way you’d want to be treated.  When we treat others with kindness and consideration, we’re the ones who benefit, and this behaviour invites others to reciprocate with warmth and generosity.
  6. Avoid the parent/ child dynamic.When we depend on our loved ones or friends for everything, it’s a lot of pressure to put on them. If we find an imbalance in the relationship where we feel helpless without them or as if we can’t do certain tasks we used to do on our own anymore, that’s a sign we may be playing out a parent/child dynamic. We may start to see others in the service of us instead of as a whole person. A lack of equality can diminish our attraction to others and undermine our strong intimate

 

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